If you would like to find out more about us or simply wish to get in touch, you can send us an e-mail at carmandjohn@mac.com. You can also contact our adoption practitioner, Angela Al-Hillal, at 416-466-1046 or by e-mail at angela.alhillal095@sympatico.ca.

Life can often feel like a puzzle with many pieces missing or turned upside down. However, with kindness, patience, understanding, and love, this puzzle can be solved. By welcoming your child into our family, we hope to make a better picture by bringing some of the pieces of our life and your life together.

Hello,

We're Carm and John, a married couple who are looking to adopt a child.

Like all hopeful parents looking to adopt, our story is only starting to be written. We know what's brought us to this chapter--how we met, got married, and dreamed of starting a family, as well as the struggles with infertility and the decision to adopt--what we don't know yet is how it will all end.

We'd like to thank you for taking the time to read about us and learn a little about who we are. We can't imagine the challenges you are facing at this point in your life, but we sincerely hope our story speaks to you in some way, and if it does, maybe we can write the next chapter together.

We also know that adopting a child isn't really the end of this story...only the beginning of another one!

We feel like there is so much to tell you about ourselves that it's difficult to know where to start--the beginning is probably a good idea! We first met while we were both undergraduate students at the University of Toronto. We had a few mutual friends and got to know each other over the course of a year before we started dating. We knew we had a lot in common, and after making a giant ice cream sandwich on our second date (Recipe: divide one whole package of Pilsbury cookie dough in half, bake two giant cookies, and fill with an entire carton of ice cream, any flavour) we had a feeling we'd be together for a long time.

And here we are.

We celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary last December. These have been some incredibly happy and fulfilling years, but also ones that have seen their fair share of challenges. During this time we've established our careers, bought a house that we've made our home, travelled to and experienced many places around the world, and learned a lot about each other. We hope that we will soon be able to share all of this with our son or daughter.

John on Carm
When I first met Carm I remember thinking who is this cute little girl with the sweet laugh and great big smile? Well, I soon found out. Carm is one of the warmest and kindest people I have ever met. It wasn't long before I knew I was in love. A perfect day for me is any day we spend together, whether it's doing weekend chores, heading out of the city for a day trip, or staying in on a lazy, rainy afternoon, eating snacks and quietly watching a movie, 

Others also seem drawn to her good nature and open heart. This is probably why she has such a large circle of close friends that includes everyone from elementary school classmates to her colleagues today.

Carm's patience, strength, and compassion are put to good use on a daily basis in her career as a Social Worker in a large downtown hospital. I'm always awed by how she's able to help and deal with people who are facing life's most difficult moments. Carm's hard work, dedication, and compassion have earned her the respect of her colleagues and I know that these same qualities will make Carm an amazing mom, able to handle all the challenges of raising a family.  I think this is also why Carm has become a favourite "aunt" to many of our friends' children. It no longer surprises me when I hear the rush of little feet heading to answer the door when they know that Carm is coming over for a visit.

Carm grew up in a loving Italian family and is very close to her mother Anna, who lives a short five-minute drive away from us (Carm's father passed away while Carm was in university). Since retiring as a bank manager a few years ago, Anna has reinvented herself first as a florist and then as the manager of the marketing department for the Canadian edition of an international magazine. I think I have an idea of where Carm gets her drive, determination, and energy. Carm and Anna always make time for their weekly date, and the three of us usually get together for a Sunday breakfast or brunch after church.

When she's not busy at work or seeing her friends and family, Carm likes to spend time reading, doing yoga, going for weekend hikes and road trips, checking her Facebook, and baking. We also love to travel whether to Paris, Cuba, or Disney World, and we look forward to one day showing the world to our child.

Carm on John
I truly feel blessed to have John in my life. His sense of humour and calm in the face of stress always helps to keep me grounded in any situation. Even when I'm having the most difficult of days, I know that he'll be there to listen to my stories and put things into perspective.

As our relationship has grown over the years, I am often amazed at the new talents and strengths he reveals. I always knew John had a love for books and reading, which is why it seemed like the perfect career choice when he became a university textbook editor. Sometimes I like to think of him as my walking encyclopaedia and atlas, which comes in handy when I call him up and ask for directions about how to get home (ok, I admit I have a terrible sense of direction)! Over the years I've learned that he's also an amazing cook (who makes delicious lunches and dinners for me everyday), a handy home renovator and gardener, an enthusiastic soccer player, and a big kid disguised as a grown up. I think this may be one of the reasons he gets along so well with our friends' kids. Whether it's reading stories, playing with action figures, or having a pretend tea party, I know that John is having as much fun as the kids (maybe more!). I really look forward to the day when he'll be able to share his many talents and enthusiasms with our child.

John is very close with his family, who live nearby. In fact, John grew up in the same neighbourhood where we now live. He visits his parents, Eva and Frank, for lunch at least once a week, and we often have family get togethers that also include his younger brother Nick and my mom Anna. John and I really enjoy the love and laughter we share at these times, and I can see where he gets many of his qualities and passions. We've even had the opportunity to travel to Hungary a couple of times to visit John's grandmother who is now in her 80s. It was an amazing experience to be welcomed into her home, even though she doesn't speak a word of English and John had to do all the talking!  

Like me, John also values his friendships and still maintains very close ties with a group of his friends from high school. In fact, we really think of this group as our extended family and it's been amazing to see it grow over the years as his friends have gotten married and had kids of their own. It's one of our great joys and privileges to be known as Auntie Carm and Uncle John.

Our Home
We live in Don Mills, Ontario, a friendly, family-oriented, diverse neighbourhood with lots of parks, cycling paths, schools, and libraries.

Our house is near the end of a long, tree-lined street surrounded by ravines and a golf course. We love living in a place where rabbits and deer can be found only a short walk from our front door, while at the same time we're only a few minutes away by car from the subway or even downtown. We really feel like we live in the country in the heart of the city.

We're also lucky to have some wonderful neighbours, including couples that have lived in the same house since it was built in the early 1950s to families with young children who attend the school down the street. We feel very fortunate to live in such a friendly community where people take the time to help each other out whether it's shovelling the walk in the winter or donating some plants for a neighbour's garden in the summer.

We both grew up close to where we now live (we're sure we must have unsuspectingly crossed paths at least once when we were kids) and our parents live a short distance away and are always there to lend us a hand when we need it. Their support with everything we do, and especially our quest to adopt a child, is something we truly cherish and appreciate.

Our Thoughts on Adoption and Parenting
It's amazing how once you begin the adoption journey you discover that adoption has touched the lives of so many people around you. As we've begun to talk with our family, friends, and colleagues about our decision to adopt, we've been amazed and humbled by the stories we've heard. We've discovered that adoption has so many different faces, and each situation, while having some aspects in common, is unique. With this in mind, we will be happy to explore an open adoption. We've learned and seen first hand the advantages of an open adoption and we honestly feel that it can provide the opportunity for a richer and more fulfilling life not only for the child, but for everyone involved. Of course, we know that, in practice, an open adoption can mean many different things, and we look forward to coming to an arrangement with which we are all comfortable. However, if you feel that an open adoption is not right for you at this point in your life, then we would certainly be happy to respect your wishes. Our main guiding principle through all of this is always what is best for the child.

Having desired and dreamed of starting a family for a long time now, we've also given much thought to what we think of as good parenting. We believe that unconditional love, kindness, and compassion must be at the heart of the relationship between parent and child. Of course, growing up means having to find your own way and becoming your own person, and this can mean that you won't always see eye-to-eye with your parents. We hope that by setting boundaries, and providing the child with the knowledge and tools to make good decisions, he or she will eventually find his or her right path. It's also important for a child to know that everyone makes mistakes, and that we will be there for him or her regardless of what happens. Raising a child, however, isn't just a one-way street. We know and expect that we will learn much and be unimaginably enriched by the gift of a child in our lives.

Ultimately, we both feel very blessed to have grown up in loving and supportive families. We appreciate that we owe many of our values and strengths to how we were raised by our parents, and we are grateful for the lifetime of happy memories that they've given us. We are also very fortunate that we continue to enjoy a close relationship with our families, and that we are all able to share in each other's joys and comfort each other through our sorrows. For us this is really what we mean when we talk about family, and this is what we hope to one day provide for our son or daughter.

Thank you again for taking the time to read about us, and please feel free to contact us at anytime if you would like to learn more.

Our warmest wishes to you and your family.
Carm and John